Category Archives: Stress

Road Rage

“A patient arrived in the office for his psychotherapy appointment. He was visibly agitated, and when I asked him what happened, he reported the following incident: He was driving out of his development. To arrive at my office, it required that he make a left turn onto a highway, not an easy task. He has to cross the south lanes to turn left onto the northern lanes in the office’s direction. Turning left means turning onto the left northern lane and crossing into the right lane. The driver must look carefully that no cars are coming in either direction. My patient, noticing a car coming in the left northerly lane but judging that it was distant enough for him to turn, safely executed the turn and shifted right. Once in the right lane, the other car driver starts loudly honking at him. Unnerved by the blaring sound of the horn, turned his head to see what was happening. He noticed that the car driver was angry and repeatedly gestured at him. “It looked as though he was a raving, spitting, and cursing lunatic,” in his words. Feeling both provoked and angry, he felt tempted to pull over and have a confrontation to “teach that guy a lesson.” Thinking better of it, he allowed the whole incident to pass, except he could not shake his angry feelings or revenge fantasies. He reported he felt rattled, incensed, nervous, and wanted to fight and even pull a gun on that guy. Fortunately, he has no gun and doesn’t know how to use one.

It’s a familiar scene. A person starts the day with a fight with your wife, or your boss gives you a warning, or on the way to work or back home, there is a traffic jam that tries your patience. Under these and similar types of circumstances, you feel frustrated and angry. You could quickly explode if just one more thing happens. Then, one more thing happens when another car weaves in and out of lanes, and you get even angrier.

For too many people, all this pent-up emotion expresses when driving. There is a name for it, Road Rage. It is one of the leading causes of traffic accidents and violent confrontations between angry drivers. Of course, for some people, this has less to do with circumstances and more to do with the fact that they are angry people, always seething and always ready to explode. Whatever may be the factors that enrage one driver, the outward expression of this rage sometimes provokes the ire of another driver who feels he must protect his male ego from humiliation. Of course, drivers tend to blame the other drivers for anything that happens but never themselves.

Road rage can have dire consequences. If there are family and friends in the car, an angry confrontation can be highly embarrassing. Among these are sometimes deadly traffic accidents and fights with others who may even pull a gun and receive a citation from the police. In many states, three or more citations can lead to suspension of the driver’s license and spending an afternoon in jail. In other cases, all of this drama can cause a lawsuit with significant financial damages awarded to the other drivers.

How can these scenarios be prevented? One strategy for those with anger problems is to interrupt their thoughts and ask themselves two things: first, everyone must concentrate on their driving and not the other person. In addition, everyone needs to remind themselves that whatever happens on the road is not personal. 

1) Is it worth it to get out of the car or take some other dangerous action and 

2) What are the consequences of taking action?

If you lose control of yourself in these incidents, it’s essential to seek professional help. Learning to control one’s behavior is essential to a functioning civilization. People should not and must not give in to their impulses.

http://www.allanschwartztherapy.net

Help is available. Contact Dr. Schwartz at. dransphd@aol.com

Dogs and Health, a Winning Combination

We know that exercise is good for the heart. We know that having companionship is good for health. But did you know that owning a dog helps relieve stress and lower blood pressure and heart rate? 

Psychology Today Magazine published an article in its April 2006 edition about a research project completed at the State University of New York at Buffalo. In this study, 480 people experienced various stress-inducing tasks. Sometimes, the subject could have their dog present during the task, and in other cases, the dog could not be with its owner. The same was true of the subject’s spouse. Sometimes, the spouse could participate, and the spouse was absent in others. Before, during, and after the experiment, blood pressure and heart rate were carefully monitored and documented. The results of the study were fascinating:

Results:

The tasks required of the subjects were successful in sending heart rates and blood pressure soaring.

When a participant’s spouse was present, blood pressure and heart rate were the highest of all participants, even though the spouse could provide any social support they thought necessary.

Stress response was lowest among those allowed to have their dogs present during and after the task.

It is not surprising that the researchers speculated that those with their dogs present had a better outcome because dogs are comforting and non-critical.

This study coincides with another recent research project, which showed that loneliness and the lack of social support in an individual’s life lead to high blood pressure. A pet, particularly a dog, goes a long way toward providing owners with a sense of responsibility, comfort, and companionship that has real health benefits. 

The mere process of walking a dog leads to the opportunity to speak with people and interact. Children, other adult dog owners, and interested neighbors stop interacting with those walking their dogs. In addition, dogs are always welcoming when their owner returns home from having been elsewhere. This welcome feels very good and reassuring for those who live by themselves and may feel socially isolated.

Financial Problems Impact Mental Health

Not since the great depression have so many people collectively been dealing with financial hardship. The Covid pandemic locked down nations and caused people to lose their livelihoods. It is not surprising that we also see increases in the rates of depression.

Other studies have also linked depression and anxiety with financial burdens. This study suggests that individuals with depression and anxiety are three times more likely to be in debt.

It’s a Vicious Cycle

Solving any problem requires clear thinking and an ability to take action. When financial burdens cause a person to become anxious and depressed, they live in an emotional state that makes it almost impossible to solve their financial problems.

For instance, when people feel depressed, it is common for them to feel overwhelmed and out of control. They want to avoid problems because they can’t bear the weight of it all. 

Depression and anxiety can also make it hard for people to get proper sleep. The lack of sleep creates a mental fog, making it incredibly hard to figure out a solution to any problem.

Talking to Someone Can Help

No, I’m not talking about a financial planner. I’m talking about speaking with a therapist. A licensed therapist can help you find some calm in the storm. Working with a therapist often brings clarity that can help you heal from depression and anxiety and get your financial life back in order.

There is no reason to be ashamed. At one point, most of us have experienced trouble with our finances and felt depressed and anxious. It is a standard part of living in these modern times when the economy seems to go against us.

If you or a loved one have been having a hard time financially and feeling stressed and overwhelmed, please contact me. I would be happy to help you deal with your current situation.

On Feeling Lonely and Isolated

Loneliness, A Health Hazard

“Its deeply seated in me

The birds are chirping

I can hear the voices

My kids are chatting around

But I feel lonely,

I am a lonely person…… “

Poem by Asma Khan

What is loneliness? How is it defined?

The word lonely, is used here, has nothing to do with being alone. As the poem above states, it’s possible to be surrounded by people, even loved ones, and yet feel lonely.

In reality, loneliness is a state of mind. In that state of mind, people feel empty, alone, and unwanted. Lonely people want human contact. Yet, their state of mind makes it more difficult to form connections with other people. Loneliness is a damaging state of mind. It damages one’s mental and physical health.

For twenty years, John Cacioppo, Ph.D. and clinical psychologist, has studied loneliness. He is the co-author of a recent book, “Loneliness: Human Nature and the Need for Social Connection.” The book’s central theme is that loneliness causes many physical illnesses. For example, studies show that social isolation and loneliness increase the flow of stress hormones. Stress hormones are those that make us alert when danger is present. When someone is lonely, they produce stress hormones with no real threat. As a result, the immune system is damaged, causing a vulnerability to viral diseases. The cardiovascular system rises, leading to stroke and heart attack because blood pressure increases, sleep is disturbed, and the aging process increases. The chronic stress caused by loneliness can even hasten the onset of Alzheimer’s disease.

According to Dr. Cacioppo, some of the adverse effects of loneliness are:

* Depression and suicide

* Cardiovascular disease and stroke

* Increased stress levels

* Decreased memory and learning

* Antisocial behavior

* Poor decision-making

* Alcoholism and drug abuse

* The progression of Alzheimer’s disease

* Altered brain function.”

James J. Lynch, Ph.D., published a brilliant book a few years ago called “A Cry Unheard.” What is significant about the message Dr. Lynch conveys is that loneliness is a failure to communicate, engage in discourse, and be committed to each other and the community. In addition, he clarifies it is not merely talking that makes up communication, but the type of talk that is vitally important to human health. He coins the phrase “toxic talk” to describe a speech that destroys the other person’s self-esteem and well-being. The destruction of that self-esteem leads to loneliness, early heart disease, and death. Criticism, negativity, lack of praise, lack of warm feeling, rejection, and other factors that increase alienation and distance between people characterize toxic talk. According to Dr. Lynch, unwholesome talk increases social isolation and leads to early death.

Listed are a few suggestions that Dr. Cacioppo provides on how to overcome loneliness:

1. Recognize that loneliness is a sign that something needs to change.

2. Understand the effects of loneliness on your physical and mental life.

3. Consider doing community service or another activity that you enjoy. These situations present tremendous opportunities to meet people and cultivate new friendships and social interactions.

4. Focus on developing quality relationships with people who share similar attitudes, interests, and values with you.

5. Expect the best. Lonely people often expect rejection, so instead, focus on positive thoughts and attitudes in your social relationships.

It is important to remember that loneliness is a state of mind linked to wanting human contact but feeling alone. People can be alone and not feel lonely, or they can have contact with people and still experience feelings of isolation.

Dr. Schwartz is available for consultation or psychotherapy at Email dransphd@aol.com

On Lauging and Laughter

We are living in difficult times. There is the war in Ukraine, two years of coronavirus, domestic political turmoil, rising crime, and changes in the economy. Challenging times like these create a lot of anxiety, worry, and stress. However, as individuals, there is little we can do to solve these problems. One psychologically beneficial coping mechanism is to laugh. Laughter reduces a lot of stress and worry.

When I was a college student many years ago, I wrote a term paper about the Pygmies of the Congo in Africa. While researching the paper, I came across one observation of their way of life that caused me to laugh. The anthropologist who wrote his observations while living with these people was that when something struck them as funny, they would begin laughing until the laughter became so side-splitting that they rolled on the ground. At the same time, tears came rolling down their faces.

When I was a child, I remember that I loved to see Jerry Lewis movies. I would laugh so hard and loud that my laughter spread through the isles of the theater until everyone was laughing at me laughing.

I remember a psychology class I took in college where the professor used a lot of humor in his lectures. One day, he said something that made all of us laugh. I don’t know if it was his joke, something about my mood that morning, or the atmosphere in the classroom, but I couldn’t stop laughing even after the others had. That caused the other students to resume laughing after they had stopped. For fear of being reprimanded, I looked up and was relieved to see the professor laughing along with all the rest of us. Our laughter was purely spontaneous and left me warm feelings about the class and professor that I still remember after these decades.

Whether laughter is medicine is unclear. Studies show that laughter is the best medicine for stress, worry, and many other problems. Psychologist Robert Provine, Ph.D., is the foremost expert on laughter. He states that:

“Laughing more could make you healthier, but we don’t know,” he says. “I certainly wouldn’t want people to laugh more just to avoid dying — because eventually, they’ll be disappointed.”

Of course, that is a joke. Most laughter is not a result of a joke but is a laughable part of being with people. Research on relationships is measurable by the amount of laughter. Problems and conflicts cause people to divorce or end relationships. Yet, one of the most apparent ingredients of any happy relationship is laughter. Laughter may be a symptom of how well a couple is doing. Laughter binds people together. During the beginning stage of a romance, people frequently laugh. It is a time of fun, warmth, joyfulness, and spontaneity. Couples need to laugh a lot more.

Laughing is also very social. It brings people together. It brings people together because it’s contagious. When you hear someone laugh, you also start to laugh. Do you remember how you also yawn when you see someone yawn?

How might a couple reintroduce laughter into their relationship? According to Provine, the most primitive form of stimulating laughter is tickling. Not only does tickling cause laughter, but it also causes the person getting tickled to turn around and start tickling. In addition to couples engaging in tickling and laughing, we love to tickle babies and children because it’s fun to see and hear them laugh and giggle.

It’s always fun to get together with people who also spontaneously laugh. Once the laughter begins, everything that happens is funny.

Do you allow laughter into your life? Just remember, we don’t laugh to solve problems. We don’t laugh to improve our health. We laugh because we do, and it feels great. So, let’s all get together and laugh.

Contact Dr. Schwartz for a consulation and/or psychotherapy

Journaling and Mental Health

For example:

“You have been through a difficult and traumatizing divorce. When all was over, you felt a sense of relief besides exhaustion and some depression. Several months have passed and you continue to feel the lingering effects of having been through something very stressful. A friend of yours suggests you write about the experience of the divorce as a way of feeling better and putting the episode behind you. You do some investigating and discover that there is solid evidence to support friends’ suggestions.”

Were you among the many young people who kept a diary when you grew up? It’s probably something that more females did as compared to males. Research shows it’s something all of us can benefit from in our adulthood. Rather than a diary, it’s called a journal. Writing a journal can have therapeutic benefits and, perhaps, be a way to change one’s life story or narrative. Clinical Psychologist James Pennebaker, University of Texas, is the leading researcher using physical and mental health journaling. He has completed many controlled research studies documenting the benefits of writing daily. Many other researchers, such as Joshua Smith, Ph.D., and Lauren Smith, Ph.D., have further documented the benefits of writing.

Pam Trachta, owner of Through a Different Lens, a consulting business, reports that “When I journal, or when I teach others to, I strive not to be intellectual and logical and articulate, but to feel the wave, the energy behind an event and to summon images of what that wave feels like, acts like, what it’s saying to me and what I would say to it.” Do not worry about grammar, spelling, or sounding literate. Just write.

According to Pennebaker, developing a deeper understanding of an event and the emotions it generates helps the brain digest the information. Pennebaker thinks that your brain turns it into a more easily stored story when you analyze a traumatic event. “Storytelling simplifies a complex experience,” he says. Turning the memory into a story can be painful at first. It can take weeks or months to notice an improvement. Smyth and Pennebaker report that patients often feel worse when they journal. 

Here are some suggestions for how to journal:

1. Write for yourself

2. Write about all the emotions associated with the event.

3. Set aside 30 minutes at a regular time for three or four days in a row when you won’t be disturbed.

4. Explore how the topic relates to other aspects of your life, such as your childhood and relationships.

5. Write continuously and don’t think about spelling or grammar.

Journal writing about traumatic events can be difficult, time-consuming, and careful. Writing about the worst events of your life can dredge up solid emotions, and healing doesn’t follow. For example, journaling therapy doesn’t seem to work by itself with people who are severely depressed or who have post-traumatic stress disorder. Smyth suggests notifying either your health care professional or someone close to you before attempting this exercise. Let them judge if it’s helping or hurting you.

Also, keep your healing journal private. It’s okay to tear up the pages or burn them once you’ve written about the event. Showing them to anyone who isn’t a therapist or healthcare professional could make matters worse–it could be hazardous for a battered woman to show the pages to her spouse.

Some therapists integrate journaling into their therapeutic practice. Journaling is something you can look for in a therapist if interested. You can certainly do something while in therapy to discuss with your therapist if you are experiencing difficult emotions. Remember, one does not have to be in therapy to write a journal.

Psychotherapy help is available. Email Dr. Schwartz at dransphd@aol.com

Resentment, Like Holding Onto a Hot Coal

“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.” ~Buddha

Resentment is an extremely bitter diet and eventually poisonous. I have no desire to make my toxins. ~Neil Kinnock

According to the Oxford American Dictionary, “resentment is defined as

bitter indignation at having been treated unfairly.” The definition includes the fact that people can harbor resentments going back many years.”

Resentment has also been called the experience of negative emotion, such as anger or hatred, felt because of a real or imagined wrong done to them.

A perfect example was given to me by a couple who complained about their younger son, now 38 years old, continuing to yell at them about his childhood. Despite being quite successful in his career, he loudly blames them for all of his troubles. The son is not occasionally yelling at his parents. Still, he does this every time he talks to them over the telephone. It has gotten so bad that his father will no longer speak to him. The son heaps the greatest on his father. His son is not bothered by this break in communication. Instead, his mother has to hear about all the past injustices.

A female patient bitterly complained about her husband. The latter eventually moved out of their apartment because he could no longer tolerate her. She blamed her father for never having time for her while growing up. Then, she blamed her therapist for not finishing her therapy and charging too much money. While she completed her treatment, she left these complaints intact, although her life quality dramatically improved since starting therapy. She was no longer depressed, completed her undergraduate degrees, had a professional career since graduation, and had a vastly improved relationship with her son and daughter. 

However, she held onto her resentments. Perhaps that enabled her to end her therapy successfully. She remained blind to how her complaining harmed other people. I never heard from her again, but sometimes I wonder how she got along afterward.

Parents are the most common object of resentment. As with the couple cited above, they are the people who are frequently the target of blame. These patients blame their parents for all failings and failures alike. 

I have heard patients blame their addiction on their parents. I have heard patients blame their parents for everything from poor school grades to work failures to failed relationships. Many young patients have complained to me they “Would not be depressed except by the way they were treated by mom or dad.”

What is so interesting is that, in blaming parents or others for one’s misfortunes, there is a failure to take responsibility for what has happened. The 38-year-old son never looks at his behavior to understand the role he plays in his present-day successes and failures.

None of this suggests that parents are innocent or that they never did wrong. We know that parents abuse, neglect, and reject their children. There are those parents who are overprotective authoritarians. Some are addicted to drugs and alcohol. In all cases, even the best parents are imperfect, make mistakes, and sometimes be unjust.

An essential step for all adults is acknowledging that what happened in the past cannot be undone. We can build better lives for ourselves in the present and future. To do this is to take responsibility for one’s behaviors and choices in the present. Many patients have told me that they want their parents to admit their wrongdoing. When asked how that would help them, most gave vague answers. Of course, there is nothing to be gained from asking a parent to admit guilt, even if they did so.

Resentment is malignant. There is no better way to hold on to the bitter past than to relive horrible events that happened then. There is no better way to relive the awful past than to continue to blame others, whether parents or anyone else. 

Remember Buddha’s quote that anger and resentment are like grasping hot coal that can only burn yourself.

Pandemic, The Economy, War and Life and Death

Along with American citizens and people worldwide, I am extremely upset about the Pandemic, Ukraine, Russia, and the economy. 

 Many friends, family, and clients say that they believed the Pandemic was over. However, Russia invaded Ukraine, and anxiety rose once anxiety and worry rose again. If these events aren’t bad enough, we have been plagued by rising prices for everything from gasoline, building materials, and food, among many other essential items.

I was born in 1942, in the middle of WW 11. My grandfather’s youngest brother, Uncle Sam, served in and earned the Purple Heart in the first World War. My three uncles served in World War 2. Then, there was the war to establish the State of Israel. Next was the invasion of Israel, the Korean War, Vietnam, invasion of Iraq, Gulf War, and Afghanistan, and more minor wars were between these. And, evermore, nations are gaining nuclear weapons and missiles. In these wars, including the current war in Ukraine, all of us witness acts of destruction. The destruction includes human lives, cities, buildings, and all the things people take for granted in their daily lives.

The great psychoanalyst, Sigmund Freud, wrote about the issues surrounding war, life, and death after World War 1. 

Freud’s Theories of Life and Death Instincts

Sigmund Freud’s theory of drives developed throughout his life and work. He initially described a class of drives known as life instincts. He believed these drives handled much of our behavior.

Eventually, he believed that life instincts alone could not explain all human behavior. With his book Beyond the Pleasure Principle in 1920, Freud concluded all instincts fall into two major classes: life drives or death drives.

The Life Drive (Eros)

Sometimes referred to as sexual instincts, the life drives deal with basic survival, pleasure, and reproduction. These instincts or drives are essential for sustaining the individual’s life and the continuation of the species.

While we think of life instincts regarding sexual procreation, these drives include thirst, hunger, and pain avoidance. The energy created by the life instincts is known as libido.

Freud proposed Eros was opposed by ego forces (the organized, realistic part of a person’s psyche that mediates between desires). In this latter view, he maintained that life instincts were opposed by the self-destructive death instincts, known as Thanatos.

Behaviors commonly associated with life instincts include love, cooperation, and other social actions. The life drives focus on preserving life, both the individual and the species. This drive compels people to engage in actions that sustain their own lives, such as looking after their health and safety. It also exerts itself through sexual drives, motivating people to create and nurture new life. 

Positive emotions such as love, affection, and social cooperation are also associated with life drives. These behaviors support both individual well-being and the harmonious existence of a cooperative and healthy society.

The Death Drive (Thanatos)

Freud first introduced the concept of the death drive in his essay Beyond the Pleasure Principle. He theorized that the death drive is the drive toward death and destruction, famously declaring that “the aim of all life is death.”

Freud believed that people typically channel their death drive outwards and manifest as aggression toward others. However, this drive can also be directed inwards, which can cause self-harm or suicide.

Freud based this theory on various clinical observations. For instance, Freud noted that people who experience a traumatic event would often reenact that experience. While studying soldiers returning from World War I, Freud observed they had a tendency to repeat the traumatic experiences that took them back to the combat scene.

He noted similar behavior in his 18-month-old grandson, Ernst, who played a game called Fort/Da whenever his mother was away. To deal with his anxiety, his grandson would repeatedly toss away and retrieve a wooden reel with a piece of string tied around it. Freud wondered how “repetition of this distressing experience as a game fit in with the pleasure principle?”

Freud concluded people hold an unconscious desire to die, but life instincts largely temper this wish.

According to Freud, the death drive stands in stark contrast to the drive to survive, procreate, and satisfy desires. In Freud’s view, all living organisms have an instinct” toward death.” in Freud’s view. The compulsion to repeat was “something that would seem more primitive, more elementary, more instinctual than the pleasure principle it overrides.” He further proposed that the death drive extended that compulsion.

As yet another war presents the danger of spreading into a wider conflict. Could Ukraine become the starting point of a third world war? I could not help but ask myself if Freud was correct. Does humanity have a drive towards self-destruction and extinction? What do you believe? I am available for exchanging ideas at

dransphd@aol.com

It’s Enough to Make You Pull Your Hair Out

Do you remember a time when you were reading or studying for a school exam or writing a term paper and were quite unconsciously twirling, twisting, and pulling your hair until the strands fell out?

I have worked with people with Trichotillomania. They are also known as “trichsters,” but nothing is humorous about this disorder. It is a disorder also known as hair-pulling. “Trichotillomania is repetitive twisting and twirling of the hair. The hair loss is usually in a well-defined area with shortened, broken-off hairs and early regrowth of hair. The scalp is the most commonly involved site, but eyelashes and eyebrows may also be involved. The hair loss can also be patchy and poorly defined.”*

Some 2.5 million Americans experience this disorder. Hair pulling often begins during childhood or adolescence. For example, studies show that boys who pull out their hair start around the age of 8, while girls begin around twelve years of age or with the onset of puberty. By far, the highest percentages of people with this disorder are women, and they are 4 times more likely than males to engage in hair-pulling.

The ancient origins of the word, Trichotillomania come from Greek root terms meaning “hair,” “pulling,” and “mania,” or madness. Actually, there is nothing mad or crazy about this little-understood disorder. Today, psychiatry and medicine define it as an impulse control disorder. The implications are that it is medical in nature and specifically neurological in origin.

*Symptoms:

  • Constant tugging, pulling, or twisting of hair
  • An increasing sense of tension is present before the hair pulling
  • Sense of relief, pleasure, or gratification is reported after the hair pulling
  • Hair pulling leads to an uneven appearance
  • Bare patches or diffuse (all across) loss of hair
  • Hair regrowth in the bare spots feels like stubble
  • Some individuals may develop a bowel obstruction if they eat the hair they pull out
  • Other self-injury behaviors may be present
  • People suffering from this disorder often deny pulling out their hair

*(Information is from U.S. National Library of Medicine)

Many mental health specialists define this disorder as impulse control because those with this disorder cannot resist the urge to pull their hair. The impulse to tear one’s hair is so overpowering that it cannot be controlled. Once the habit has reached those dimensions, there is no way to resist the urge. The result is that bald spots emerge on the scalp. 

The presence of these bald spots becomes a source of great distress, particularly for teenage girls when they are at the height of concern about their appearance. In fact, the impact on one’s appearance and its social consequences have the most significant impact on the social and emotional adjustment of people with this disorder.

One of the most essential facts for sufferers and their loved ones to know about this behavioral disorder is that it is not a bad habit. People can learn to control or alter patterns with little difficulty. The overwhelming urge to pull hair places it outside of the category of a learned and bad habit.

It is said that there are two types of Trichotillomania: one in which the individual is aware that they want to pull their hair and another: in which the person is so involved and absorbed in an activity that they are unaware of what they are doing.

Among those who know they want to pull their hair, there is a feeling of extreme distress, depression, and anxiety, leading them to pull their hair out. The result is a feeling of relief or an end to the emotional numbness experienced by these individuals. However, there is no awareness that they have started to pull their hair for other people. Among the second group, the process of hair-pulling seems to be much less open to attention much of the time, until sometime after it has started. In all cases, once the person attempts to stop the behavior, the worse it becomes.

Reports about the prognosis of this disorder are that most children will outgrow it within a year. However, if this does not happen, it can and does last into adulthood.

There is no one accepted and proven treatment for this disorder. The commonly tried treatments are medication for depression, psychodynamic psychotherapy, cognitive-behavioral therapy, and behavior modification. One form of behavior modification is referred to as reverse habit conditioning. The patient is made aware of the behavior and when it will happen and then explores alternative coping mechanisms to the hair-pulling.

Nail Biting

An old friend from our college days would sit in the school library doing homework or studying while biting down on his nails. This was accompanied by his digging into the edges of the nails with his other hand in an attempt to pull off the loosened cuticles. If anyone reminded him that he was chewing his nails, he would pause for a while and then, entirely without intention, resume the process. 

The whole drama was remarkable because I had no such wish or impulse to do the same.

Did you ever bite your nails? If the answer is yes, you are not alone. Studies show that 60% of children and 45% of teens bite their nails. After age 18, the percentages of people who bite their nails dwindle. However, there are some cases of this continuing during adulthood. So, why does nail biting occur at all?

Nail-biting is part of what is referred to as pathological grooming. This is a group of behaviors that include hair pulling, trichotillomania, and skin picking, known as dermatillomania. These behaviors may be triggered by situations that provoke stress and anxiety. As with my old friend, homework and studying are undoubtedly stressful for most. Exams, term papers, and quizzes generate lots of worry and anxiety. Nail-biting becomes a way to relieve stress. Soon, it turns into a habit. Contrary to what some believe, it is not a habit that disturbs the nail-biter. Quite to the contrary, it feels good, which is part of the reason why it’s hard to stop.

Some mental health professionals have suggested that nail-biting may be a symptom of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) because they are aware of what they are doing but cannot stop. However, though aware of the problem, many nail biters have no wish to stop.

While stress may be one reason people bite, there is no solid research into this behavior and no identified reasons why it happens. In addition, there is no clear evidence that nail-biting is harmful either mentally or physically. Nevertheless, there are good reasons to stop. For example, fingers and hands can look unattractive due to broken fingernails that look shredded and torn. Also, putting hands to the mouth is unsanitary and increases the risk of introducing viruses into the system. That is one-way germs, such as the flu, are spread from one person to another.

There are a variety of strategies that people can use to stop this habit. One is to wear a bracelet that jingles. Jingling helps the individual realize they are biting and, therefore, stop. In addition, meditation, yoga, and other deep relaxation techniques relieve stress and tension to reduce the need to chew. 

Another technique is to keep the hands busy by holding a pen, knitting, or any other behavior that competes with nail-biting. In other words, it’s impossible to bite if the hands are doing other things. Some people have suggested keeping nails short and getting a manicure as a way of preventing one from putting a hand to mouth. Being aware of good hygiene to avoid colds and flu might also help. Finally, using post-its helps remind one to not bite.

Suppose this becomes a problem that interferes with social and functioning at work. In that case, it could be a symptom of a deeper problem that calls for psychotherapy. While nail-biting is considered harmless for most people, there are cases where this is not true. If you are uncertain about your nail-biting behavior, a consultation with a mental health practitioner is a good idea.